When You Realize You're the Problem

A lone shadow is cast

Most leaders, at some point, arrive at the same realization.

They are the problem.

It’s not an easy realization, and it’s certainly not a comfortable one. It rarely shows up all at once. More often, it starts with frustration, with impatience, with a quiet internal dialogue of “if they would only…”

If they cared more.

If they were more capable.

If they could just see what you see.

But eventually, that story stops holding.

Something else starts to register. There’s too much on your shoulders. Too many decisions, too many dependencies, too many people waiting on you. Not because they must, but because they’ve learned to.

Not everything should run through you.

And yet, it does.

The people around you are capable. You know that. But you don’t really let them prove it. Not fully. Not when it matters. Because when the stakes are high. Standards matter; it feels easier and safer to just handle it yourself.

If you want something done right, you do it yourself.

It’s faster. More reliable. More predictable.

They aren’t you.

Lowering the bar isn’t an option, and the risks feel greater.

When you tried to let go before, you remember the disappointment that followed.

So, gradually, by default, it becomes you.

Privately, you know it isn’t sustainable.

It limits where you can go. It costs you growth. You can feel that you’re capable of more. You know you are, but there’s no capacity left to reach for it. You start telling yourself that if the people around you would just rise up, everything would change.

But it isn’t about them.

It’s you.

You already know it. You’ve admitted it, maybe not out loud, but honestly, to yourself. You know what would need to change for things to move differently. And yet, you don’t allow yourself to do anything differently.

You point to the risks of them getting it wrong.

The time it would take to get them there.

The short-term hit to execution, momentum, and results.

You’re not wrong. There are risks. There is time involved. There is real cost.

You’ve gotten this far because you’re good at solving problems. You see opportunities others miss. You step in when things stall. You know how to make things work.

The real question isn’t whether you can decide.

It’s whether you’re willing to let things stop working through you.